A Hostage of Right Brain Disorder

In trying to regain some life balance, one must partake of lots of Tai Chi or Chai Tea…whichever.

Ahhh.. another election season has come and gone…finally. One of my pet peeves about election time…and I have many peeves about our political system…is the plethora of political signs left behind like so many war orphans. No one seems to have any desire to do anything about them, win or lose.

Here’s a thought…why not enact legislation to require political candidates or platform support groups to offer a deposit on those ugly signs. Nothing major, but something like 25 cents a sign, to be paid by the candidate’s election fund starting 24 hours after the polls close. The candidate is required to have a quarter a sign in a fund to pay the persons that return the signs to them, payable in cash. Make the deposit even bigger for larger signs. This also makes the campaigns think about how much random visual clutter they want to throw out since they have to pay to redeem them or have them picked up themselves. Look at how that changes the landscape…literally.

There will be hordes of sign reposessors roaming the countryside in a frenzied swarm, fighting each other for the last stray political sign. Each and every sign will be gone within 24 hours of the election.

But, since it will require politicians to enact this very common-senseical idea, and politics and common sense don’t mix, don’t hold your breath to see anything like this happen soon.

Also, anyone other than me notice that gas prices went down immediately before the election and now they’re going back up? Funny how that works.

No, I’ve not unlocked cold fusion, nor have I found a way to reliably harness governmental hot air, but I think that I have a chance to provide the entire developed world’s energy needs. Tonight I will be chaperoning 15 junk food eatin’, sugar-laden-caffeinated drink swilling, “my PSP beats your lousy GameBoy anyday” yelling 6 to 10 year old boys on an overnight camping trip. The energy is there…now to find a way to harness it.

Pray for my poor sleep-deprived soul.

Tonight, sports fans, is the first Powell home game…meaning the first concession stand night as Booster President. I feel like I have the eyes of the entire world on me because we have totally redone the stand over the summer, changed the menu and redone the procedures. Never mind the fact that the stand did precious little business last season, there are plenty of naysayers circling like vultures simply because I have refused to “do it the way it always has been done”. I personally don’t care what people think of me (the ordeal of the summer beat that out of me) but I don’t want the people who put so much time and effort into this to suffer.

Besides, I think that it just might be amazing and we’ll surpass our rather aggressive goals. That just might be fun. We’ll see. More tomorrow.

I thought about titling this post “ups and downs”…until I realized that I had already used that one. Labor Day will mark five weeks since the surgery. It feels like maybe two…and that’s pushing it. I get mad at myself when things hurt, even though the doctor told me specifically that this would happen, but today was a pretty bad day. I aggravated the situation by scheduling a very full day yesterday, knowing full well that Paul had a special day for the crew planned for today. I simply couldn’t miss that because the guys have really done a super job while I’ve been out, but I was also really worn out and in pain all afternoon. Ah, well…at least there is the long weekend to recover.

Recover…except that I have three estimates, three T-shirt designs, a series of sign designs and a checklist of things needing to be done for the high school concession stand to do over the weekend. Yes, life truly is back to normal.

Today sports fans, we learned a number of things. First, it doesn’t matter how good you feel after a major surgery, it can all change very quickly.

Also, if your body is trying to tell you something, listen to it… lest very bad mojo occur.

This morning started like the last few. I woke early (in my own bed!!) and set about planning a day filled with activities related to getting back on my feet. Unfortunately my body had other plans. I was thinking about conning Katy into running me by the band concession stand (big work day today) to surprise everyone when my body suggested that I might want to stay at home and take it easy.

Having pushed myself as hard as I possibly could for the last few days, I was in no mood to listen to my whiny inner-self… I wanted to be a man in motion. My body quietly asked me again to slow down and take it easy… to which I boldly replied “ I, quite frankly, don’t care what you think or what you do. I’m going out there and be Superman!”

My body simply and quietly replied ”I don’t give a crap”…. and so it didn’t do exactly that.

Folks, it is simply amazing how fast the lack of one simple bodily function can turn a macho know-it-all into a whimpering blob of useless protoplasm. Needless to say, my longsuffering hero-nurse of a wife stepped in, fixed the problem and defied me to set foot out of bed again.

Tomorrow is supposed to be a day of rest… I’m sure it will be for me. Stay tuned for updates.

…how important small actions can be to your sense of well being until they are no longer part of your daily routine.

Having said that, here’s a little mutated quote by the Reverend Martin Luther King…

Pee at Last,

…pee at last,…

… thank God Almighty I can pee at last!

I also have some images to upload soon. I think everyone be impressed… I was almost in shock. Check back soon!

Thanks to some quick mental gymnastics by my genius younger brother, it turns out that my little friend was about .55 liters in volume…or about 1 & a half cans of Coke. Suggestions for names are now being accepted. Mongo Jr is not allowed. Send replies to bw at coolsunlight dot com…hopefully you already understand what I just did to keep spammers off of my now 30 ounce lighter behind. More to come.

The pathology report just came back…this thingamagiggy measures 13cm x 9.5cm x 4.5cm. Any of you mathheads out there figure a volume for this and give something real to compare it to…are we talking the size of a tennis ball or a football?

Oh, by the way…it’s benign. Hoooray. Now to get the heck out of here…that may be as early as tomorrow.

Well, tomorrow’s the big day. Somehow it seems fitting that the anesthesiologist said that I would have an epidural for pain after the surgery. Normally an epidural is reserved for women during labor, but this is a case where the ability to completely kill sensation for only a certain part of my body is a nice thing. It also seems fitting in that I’m going to be giving birth to an 8 centimeter somethingorother, so a childbirth pain block is totally appropriate. I’ll update you on the birth weight as soon as I’m allowed access to a computer.

I’ve been told that I won’t feel like doing anything at all for the first week…not even blogging. I’m not sure that I’ll be able to handle the monotony…much less the screaming pain of nearly being cut in half laterally…but rest assured, I’ll be writing just as soon as I can get myself logged on.

Thanks to all of you that have already offered help and prayers…I love you all more that words can adequately describe. I will be back just as soon as I can.